Wednesday, February 23, 2011

I'm not dumb. I figured you'd know that, by now.

Really? That's not a legit reason. 
All this happened over a month ago, & you're JUST NOW getting to tell me that reason?! 
If that was the REAL reason, you would have told me like, say, ohh, I don't know..A MONTH AGO?!
At ONE POINT or another, you have not been real. 
Either: 
A) You have a totally different reason than ANYTHING you've been telling me, or you don't have one at all. If this WASN'T the case, you'd have told me a real, solid reason by now.
B) You just won't talk because you know it makes her mad. If this wasn't the case, then there's no reason why you shouldn't be talking.. 
C) You DON'T really want this to work, which is what you've been telling me this whole time. If this wasn't the case, then again, you don't have a reason to NOT talk.


You need to tell me the truth RIGHT NOW, & get real with me. I'm not gonna sit here & take your artificial reasons. If you have a good one, I'll hear it. But otherwise, you need to fess up & tell me wtf is going on in your head. You know I'll always be here for you, but right now, you're making it awful hard. You need to tell me what's REALLY going on; no more lies, no more fakeness, just real words. ONLY THEN can I help you at all.
If you're gonna tell me anything, it needs to be the truth. & You can tell me the same lines you've been saying, but I have reasons NOT to believe them. By the end of the day TOMORROW, I plan to know what's going on. I trust you with my life, with everything about me, but I need to know you feel the same. If you can't trust me with this simple stuff, I don't feel comfortable being so vulnerable to you if you're not the same. I don't understand you, boyy. Don't get me wrong, I love you, but I really need to figure this whole thing out FOR REAL this time. & I'm gonna need YOUR help with that.
She wants this. Bad. & what you say & what you do don't add up to the same number. 
That's the problem.


--That's all, I guess. 
-This is my life - as Bonnie. 

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