Sunday, June 13, 2010

My Life; June 13th, 2010; 9:13pm

Sign in at 9:13 :: Finished post at 10:01
BORED. Have to clean my room..ugh. Haha. It'll be cool, though. Won't take me more than like..20 minutes. &my bathroom? Like..5, MAYBE. Haha. I shouldn't be whining! It's really easy. But I just don't want to.. Haha. So I recently rewatched The Hangover on my iPod today...&you probably knew I liked it by the bits at the bottom of the screen.(: Here are my very favorite quotes!!
 

Old Man: Sweeeet ride!!
Alan: Don't touch it. Don't even look at it. Go on. Don't look at me either. I'm not afraid to beat an old man in public. 
---
Alan: *Trips over Phil coming out of the bathroom* OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD.
Phil: What the he**, man?!
Alan: Phil! Don't go in there! There is a tiger in the bathroom! There is a JUNGLE CAT in the bathroom!
Phil: Ohkay, ohkay. I'll check it out, just calm down. Calm down. &Put some pants on will ya? *Checks bathroom* *Tiger growls* OH SH**, HE'S NOT KIDDING! There's a f***ing TIGER in there! 
Stu: No there's not...
Alan: Yes there is! There's a tiger in our bathroom! 
Phil: Alright! Calm down, now let's just sit for a second&we'll figure out something! &ALAN, PUT SOME PANTS ON, PLEASE! I find it strange I have to ask twice! 
---
Alan: *just got to Vegas&they're on the roof* I'd like to..say something..that I've prepared. *Clears throat* How 'bout that ride in, huh? I guess that's why they call it sin-city. Huhuh. You guys may not know this, but I think of myself as a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself..as a one-man-wolfpack. But when my sister brought Doug Home, I knew he was one of my own. &my wolfpack..it grew by one. So, were, there were, there were two of us in the pack. I was alone in the pack, first,&then Doug joined in later. &then, 6 months ago, when Doug introduced me to you guys, I thought, "Wait a second, could it be?" &now I know for sure, I just added two more guys to my wolfpack. Four of us wolves, running around the desert together, in Las Vegas, looking for strippers&cocaine. 
---
Stu: *Singing while the tiger in the bathroom falls asleep as the effect of some roofies given in raw steak so they could return the tiger to Tyson's house* What do tigers dream of when they take a little tiger snooze? Do they dream of mauling zebras, or Halle Berry in her catwoman suit? Don't you worry your pretty striped head, we're gonna get you back to Tyson&your cozy tiger bed. &then we're gonna find our best friend Doug&then we're gonna give him a best-friend-hug. Doug, Doug, Ooh, Doug, Dougie, Dougie, Doug, Doug... But if he's been murdered by crystal meth tweekeeerrrss..well then we're sh** outta luck..
---
Stu: Yeah, Phil, how am I supposed to calm down when I mairied a WHO*E?! 
Alan: HOW DARE YOU! SHE'S A NICE LADY!
---
Melissa: I just wish your friends were as mature as you, you know?
Stu: They are mature you just have to get to know them a little bit better...
Phil: *Outside from car when picking up Stu* PAGING DOCTOR FA**OT! ....DOCTOR FAAA**OT!!
Stu: ..maybe I..I should probably go..
Melissa: Yeah, that's a good idea Doctor Fa**ot. 
---
Cop: *in a seminar with children learning about the police station, where the guys are getting tazed so they can be set free that day&make it to the wedding* Come here, handsome, your turn. *Alan starts walking over* No, NOT YOU, Fat Jesus!
---
Alan: You guys ready to let the dogs out?! 
Stu, Phil, &Doug: ..what?!
Alan: You know..like the song? Who let the dogs out, who who! *while shifting his weight to different feet as an informal dance*
---
Jade (Stu's wife that he marries in Vegas): Come on in, I have to feed Tyler! (The baby they found in their closet) 
Alan: ...did you hear that, Phil? ..the baby's name is Tyler.. *frowns&slumps head*
Phil: Yeah, I thought he looked more like a Carlos, too, bud... 
---
Alan: (While they are at the school picking up Phil) Gah..do you have to park so close?! 
Doug: Yeah, why? 
Alan: I'm not supposed to be here.. I'm not allowed within 200 feet of a school..or a Chuck-E-Cheese...
---
Phil's answering machine: Hey, it's Phil. Leave me a message, or don't.. Just do me a favor: don't text me. It's gay. 
---
Stu: Why are you peppering the steak?! You don't even know if tigers like pepper!
Alan: Tigers love pepper. They hate cinnamon. 
---
Phil: You're not really wearing that, are you?!
Alan: Wear what?
Phil: The man purse. Are you really wearing that or are you guys just f***ing with me?! 
Alan: It's where I keep all my things. I get a lot of compliments on this thing! &it's not a purse it's a satchel... Indiana Jones has one...
Phil: So does Joy Behar. 
---
Alan: Do you know if this hotel is pager-friendly? 
Lisa (lady at front desk of Ceaser's palace): Whatta you mean?
Alan: I'm not getting a sig' on my beeper. 
Lisa: Oh..I'm not sure. 
Alan: Is there a payphone bank? Buncha payphones? Business. 
Lisa: There's a phone in your room...? 
Alan: *Nods, thinkingly* That'll work...
---
Mr. Chow: Hahaha! It's funny because he's fat!
---
Stu: Are you sure you're qualified to be taking care of a BABY?!
Alan: What are you talking about? I've found a baby before! 
Stu: You've found a BABY before?! Where?!
Alan: Coffee Bean. 
---
Alan: Can I ask another question?
Lisa: Sure.
Alan: You probably get this a lot..is this the real Ceaser's palace?
Lisa: Whaddoo you mean?
Alan: Did umm..did Ceaser..live here? 
Lisa: Umm, no. 
Alan: *Looks around nodding* ...didn't think so..
---
Doug: Either way, you gotta be really smart to count cards, ohkay, buddy?
Alan: Oh really? Well why don't we tell that to RainMan because he practically bankrupted a casino&he was a ruh-tard.
Phil: A what?
Alan: He was a ruh-tard!
Doug: ...REtard, Alan. 
---
Alan: *At wedding alter* How's my hair look?
Stu: Good.
Alan: Does it look like Phil's?
Stu: ..classic Phil. 
---
Phil: God DA**IT!
Alan: Gosh darn it!
Phil: Sh**!
Alan: SHOOT!
---
Stu: Oh, SH**! She has my grandmother's holocaust ring!!
Alan: I didn't know they gave out rings during the holocaust...
---
Alan: What if Doug's dead? I can't afford to lose someone close to me again... It was so hard when my grandad died...
Phil: Oh, dude, I'm sorry, how'd he die?
Alan: World War II
Phil: Oh, in battle?
Alan: No, skiing in Vermont. It was just during World War II...
---
Phil: Who's f***ing baby is that?!
Stu: Alan, are you sure you didn't see anyone else in the suite?
Alan: Yeah, I checked all the rooms! No one's here..check it's..collar or something..
---
Alan: Phil, what's that on your arm?!
Stu: Oh my god, Phil! You were in the hospital last night!
Alan: Oh my god, Phil! Are you ohkay?!
---
Phil: *over intercom of stolen squad car* Excuse me, ma'am in the leopard dress -- you have an amazing rack! ... I should've been a f***ing cop! 
---
&that's it!
I love this movie! Hahaha. I always laugh... So here it is. All the HILARIOUS quotes!(:

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